[NickyPhils]

Lyrics:

TOM: It's the beginning of the the night and, to be honest, we don't know what could happen.

Strawberry fields
Nothing is real

Strawberry fields forever

TOM: Kill me now.
JAMES: Hello, my name is James. I--Yeah, I gotta buy condoms and cheese.
TOM: I really need to take a piss.
NICK: Five month old cookies.
TOM: And the best way I can describe this place is imagine hell, if Satan was just a little more pissed off.
NICK: Just stopped in his tracks and was just standing there. And then he was like, "Just go"--
TOM: Just destroyed N--James mentally.

Ma-ia-hii (TED: There was a huge shit stain all over the back seat.)
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo (TED: Behind a dumpster, with no pants, with shit running down his leg.)
Ma-ia-haha

Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha

NICK: THIS IS SO DISGUSTING! YOU COULD GET GERMS FROM PEOPLE THIS WAY!
NICK: Well, she doesn't talk that way, but...
TOM: And she's an idiot.

Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha

Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha

Alo, Salut, sunt eu, un haiduc,
Si te rog, iubirea mea, primeste

NICK: And you can get a lot of STDs.
NICK: WHAT?
NICK: You probably have a lot of those.

fericirea.
Alo, alo, sunt eu, Picasso,
Ti-am dat beep, si sunt voinic,
Dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic.

TED: We ended up giving him plastic bags to wrap around his leg.

Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.

NICK: WHAT? YOU THINK I HAVE STDs?
TOM: Oh, no, we're not. We're not getting her. No! Kill me now, God.

Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.

Te sun (Alo), sa-ti spun (JAMES: Hola.), ce simt (sunt iarasi eu) acum,
Alo, iubirea mea, sunt eu, fericirea. (VINNY: Birthday sex?)
Alo, alo, sunt iarasi eu, Picasso,
Ti-am dat beep, si sunt voinic,
Dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic.

NICK: DID YOU HEAR WHAT THIS KID JUST SAID TO ME? HE THINKS I HAVE STDs! HE JUST SAID, "OH, STEPHANIE HAS STDs." DO YOU REALIZE HOW RUDE THAT WAS?

Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.

TOM: You're such a goddamn vagina!
NICK: Yes, you are a vagina!
TOM: The entire night, you're like, "Oh, I wanna fuck the girl, oh I wanna fuck them, oh I wanna fuck them," and now we get the opportunity to and you don't want to?
TED: Nick, get out and walk and look for...
NICK: Yes, you're like a penis that turned inside out into a vagina.

Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.

TOM: Hello?
NICK: They're--They're gonna look--
TOM: We're in front of your house right now.
VINNY: Wee!
TOM: We got bored, so we drove to Hawthorne, we're in front of your house right now.
CHRIS: Tell her to come out.
TOM: You are heading home.
CHRIS: She's heading home?
JESS: [indistinct cell phone voice]
TOM: OK, we're in front of your house.
JESS: [indistinct cell phone voice]
VINNY: I'm gonna start doing doughnuts soon.
JESS: [indistinct cell phone voice]
CHRIS: I'm not stripping.
JAMES: We already...
TED: Tell her we already knocked down a mailbox...
VINNY: Streaking!
TOM: I can't hear a--I can't hear a single--
JESS: [indistinct cell phone voice]
TOM: What?
JESS: [indistinct cell phone voice]
TOM: I--I can't hear a single thing 'cause...
JESS: [indistinct cell phone voice]
CHRIS: Which is her house?
TED: That one right here.
CHRIS: All right.
TOM: Umm...we are honestly in front of your house.
JAMES: Yeah, we are.
CHRIS: Where is she?
TOM: Umm...I don't know why.

Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha

Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha

Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha

Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha

TOM: We're going to be here when you get here then.
VINNY: We're gonna be blasting techno.
TOM: Yeah, you can kick James's ass. It was his idea.
JAMES: Wait, wait, why do you wanna kick my ass?

Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.

NICK: Take that, you piece of shit!

Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.

CHRIS: That's a mailbox.
TOM: Oh.
NICK: Oh shit! (Ma-ia-hii, Ma-ia-huu)
TED: What was a mailbox? (Ma-ia-hoo)
TOM: Oh god, we hit the mailbox. (Ma-ia-haha)
NICK: That was pretty metallic to me. (Ma-ia-hii)
JAMES: OK, so turn around. (Ma-ia-huu)
TOM: OK, tell us the backstory. (Ma-ia-haha)
NICK: OK.
TOM: We got, like, the whole thing--

Ma-ia-hii (Amaya)
Ma-ia-huu (Amaya)
Ma-ia-hoo (Amaya)
Ma-ia-haha

NICK: I had just been shot in the leg by a caterer played by Sean LaGamma.

Ma-ia-hii (Amaya)
Ma-ia-huu (Amaya)
Ma-ia-hoo (Amaya)
Ma-ia-haha

NICK: Dad, where the hell did you get that ice cream?

Hello, salute, it's me, your duke,
And I made something that's real to show you how I feel.

TOM: OK.
NICK: It turned out that, while I had the ice cream cone, no one laughed, although everyone remembers that everyone did laugh, so it's good that way.
TOM: Huh? Yeah. Yes I am. OK, hold on one second. Nick, I have to get out of the car right now, but, very good talking to you, bye.

Hello, hello, it's me, Picasso.
I will paint

JAMES: So, you know, you don't feel, you know, sexual pleasure when you're stroking your penis.

my words of love
With your name on every wall.

TOM: If there is a just and loving God, he will kill me now.

When you leave my colors fade to gray,
Ooh ah ooh ah ay, ooh ah ooh ah ooh ah ay.
Every word of love I used to say,
Now I paint it every day.

JAMES: Before my weed wilted, I decided, I'm gonna make myself go.

When you leave my colors fade to gray,
A little ought to stay (JAMES: OJ's glove.) or all my colors fade away.

TOM: Where did that fucking come from?
JAMES: I don't know.
(JAMES: So I was pumping and pumping harder than Arnold Schwarzeneggar.)

Every word of love I used to say,
Now I paint it every day.

JAMES: Semen hit the wall behind me.

I sold

JAMES: in my nose

my strings

JAMES: then it made a line going down from my throat to my crotch,

my song,

JAMES: down my chin, it was dribbling down like Alex's drool

and dreams,

JAMES: Anyways, I laid down, covered in semen, and fell asleep.

And I bought (JAMES: I whacked harder than a lawnmower.) some paints to match the colors of my love.

JAMES: That's like my coat of conduct. You don't jerk off around the guys.
TOM: Does that coat have jizz on it?

Hello, hello, it's me again,

TOM: I can't hear a single thing you're saying.

Picasso.
I will spray my words of love,
With your name on every wall.

JAMES: I start hyper-jerking. It's like, "jjjjjjjjj!"

When you leave my colors fade to gray,
(JAMES: Because--No no no, I take the condom off because I just like the effects of the liquid inside of it that prevent the climax.)
Ooh ah ooh ah ay, ooh ah ooh ah ooh ah ay.
Every word of love I used to say,
Now I paint it every day.

NICK: You were pumpin' and pumpin'!

When you leave my colors fade to gray,
A little ought to stay or all my colors fade away.

JAMES: The first time it was a little salty. The second time, it tasted really sour.

Every word of love I used to say,
Now I paint it every day.

NICK: And then I licked it. (Ma-ia-hii)
TOM: A really bad predicament. (Ma-ia-huu)
JAMES: I'm sorry on his part. (Ma-ia-hoo)
TOM: Sarcasm. (Ma-ia-haha)
JAMES: It fired like a super soaker. (Ma-ia-hii)
JAMES: It blew out like fuckin'... (Ma-ia-huu)
VINNY: It's raining!
JAMES: Hurricane Andrew! (Ma-ia-hoo)
TOM: We--We get it. (Ma-ia-haha)
TOM: Ted. Ted. Ted.

Ma-ia-hii (Amaya)
Ma-ia-huu (Amaya)
Ma-ia-hoo (Amaya)
Ma-ia-haha

Ma-ia-hii (Amaya)
Ma-ia-huu (Amaya)
Ma-ia-hoo (Amaya)
Ma-ia-haha

JAMES: We were talking about which girl we'd jerk off to after the party. I didn't know who Ted picked because, you know, I didn't wanna get that far, but I knew who I picked. I picked the really cute girl.
TOM: That'd be gorilla.
JAMES: God damn it, man, she wasn't that bad!

When you leave my colors fade to gray,
Ooh ah ooh ah ay, ooh ah ooh ah ooh ah ay.
Every word of love I used to say,
Now I paint it every day.

When you leave my colors fade to gray,
A little ought to stay or all my colors fade away.
Every word of love I used to say,
Now I paint it every day.

JAMES: Ted...
ERICA: You are the greatest person I've ever met.
JAMES: Yeah, you are god, man.
ERICA: Could I have your e-mail? Or do you need, like, my number?
JAMES: Holy crap.

[NickyPhils]

TED: Exploding in my pants.

JAMES: I said she's a milf.

JAMES: You are a dick.

TOM: 'Cause that's what we all do when we get bored.

Ma-ia-haha
Ma-ia-haha
Ma-ia-haha

TOM: Right now Nick is singing.

Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha

Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha

TOM: Alex is pissing on the car.

Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha

Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha

CHRIS: Ah, let's walk down the waterfront.
TOM: I think...
JAMES: Yeah, let's walk down the waterfront.
TED: Do you think we should walk down the waterfront or...
CHRIS: Walk down the waterfront.

Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.

JAMES: Really can't get the girl's dick in the girl's vagina...

Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.

NICK: All right, it's time to go B.S.

Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha

Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha

TOM: Tell him you think he's really special.

Alo, Salut, sunt eu, un haiduc,
Si te rog, iubirea mea, primeste fericirea.
Alo,

ALEX: I have the exact spot! I had your garbage cans blocking the spot!
TED: No I don't. Not yet anyway.

alo, sunt eu Picasso,
Ti-am dat beep, si sunt voinic,
Dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic.

JAMES: Semen got in my hair...

Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.

NICK: Spiral like some kind of drill.

Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.

NICK: If you have any information or know anything about this massacre, please contact the ASPCA.

Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.

Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo

JAMES: Yeah, yeah.

Ma-ia-haha

Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha

Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha

TOM: God does not exist.

Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha

TOM: This old woman just turned and flipped me off.

NICK: Your drunk pee spot.
ALEX: I have many of those.

Te sun, sa-ti spun, ce simt acum,
Alo, iubirea mea, sunt eu, fericirea.
Alo,

ALEX: Totally fixed these!

alo, sunt iarasi eu, Picasso,
Ti-am dat beep, si sunt voinic,
Dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic.

TED: James, you peed on the bank with the security camera watching you.

Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.

TOM: Vinny and James accidentally opened the door to the car as we're driving away.

Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.

TOM: James took a piss on the truck.

Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha

CHRIS: She shoved a muffler up your ass.

Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha

JAMES: If it doesn't fit, I'll tie it with a string.

JAMES: Dude! Tom, you are the man!
TOM: What the hell was that about?
NICK: It just sounds like a mu--it just sounds so musical.
TOM: Oh, when you and your brother were going like...
VINNY: My crib.

[NickyPhils]

Years later, this is still simply amazing.